17, now. – paradoxically timeless 

between the foreign lullabies and
the slowly setting sun,
nothing and everything
happens, happening, has happened,
all at once –

our laughter fades quick past
the lined skies and neat roads
clattered footsteps drifting into the cloudy night
all the screams and screeches
in our shared house are
only memories now

and as the whisper of soft silence rings
in the distant rush of the highway
the end of another dream looms:
I really wish we could stay
this way, forever

—–

I jumped from my grad trip in Japan almost immediately to another, way shorter trip in Korea. The difference between the two countries and the company I’m with is drastic, and this is my last night so I can say this, both have been enjoyable in their own ways. I’ve never felt so at home and natural with the people I’ve been with and I’m so grateful for this once in a lifetime opportunity.

For real, both trips happened way too fast and was over before I even realised it. While two weeks have gone by, it really feels like nothing much has changed at all.

xx.

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17, now. – family is synonymous with home

dolled up and feeling like
a stranger in my skin
festive reds and golds but
familiar places with familiar faces
i start to ease up –

passing years have seen us drifting
time zones and lifetimes away
but a rhythm settles and the distance
disappears with the lively chitchat
and sharp cluck of chopsticks reaching for food

because
family is family is family
and here with everyone is where
i’ll always feel settled
and comfortable
and at home.

This recent Chinese New Year was so precious to me – I saw so many relatives who I hadn’t seen in years. I realised my family had our own traditions; aside from the usual radish cakes, we pass the phone around when my aunt in the US calls, we crowd the sofa for our annual family photo, etc. I found that despite not having seen some relatives since forever, I wasn’t awkward around them – one of the reasons we are family is because we can be comfortable around each other. All in all, it was a really touching holiday, even if I am a month late on reflecting this. ❤︎

x. 

thirteen years ago

thirteen years ago

you chided me

telling me to stop shouting and screaming

and talk in complete sentences

before you’d listen to me

 

it’s thirteen years later

and I don’t know what to do

I form complete, comprehensible sentences

but you refuse to listen – what now?

maybe it’s time to start shouting and screaming again