17, now. – i miss winter

i miss cool and carefree days
now, more than ever
our sunken but starry eyes and
our air of invincibility
facing forward to our futures

we’re closer
now, more than ever
our glee and excitement may be undeniable
but i don’t like how sinking reality is,
how the heat clings onto my skin
stifling and unshakeable,
or how my heart twists,
uncomfortably unpleasant,
every time the realisation ‘it’s the last time we’ll ever…’ crosses my mind

winter may’ve been
stress and coffee and panic but
i’d live through it all again
if it meant we’d have more time together

———-

Today was our last official day of school; my last regular school day as a secondary school student. My last day as a primary student didn’t do much for me, because I knew I’d be seeing majority of the grade in secondary anyway. But the feeling I have now… oof. Nothing really feels real yet, probably because I know we’ll be back during our study break and back to sit for our exams and back for graduation. Despite that, I’m still so thankful for the past 14 years at this school. I feel all weird and upset inside thinking we’ll never have classes together again, since everyone’s off to different places next year. I’m definitely going to miss poking fun at and with my friends in class, being so in tune with my friend that we can lipread and think of the same dumb jokes, and really, just… all the little moments we have in regular classes.

In short, I loved watching everyone grow up and growing up with everyone, and even though we had some awful moments, I wouldn’t change a single thing. Thanks for the past 14 years, SIS!

x.

life will be good

crisp wind and fresh air
smells of infinite possibilities
under infinite blue

pantomime trees sway gently in the breeze

we hum our own tunes, melodies
blend into what becomes the songs of life

it only gets better from here