the waves lull
and we sway blissfully
free, floating and drifting
through the quickly passing days.
I wish we could stay
My summer is ending soon and in many ways it already has, so before I move on to a new part of my life, make new friends and have new jokes, here’s to 14 years of unbreakable friendship. Class of 2017, thank you for the best summer of a rotation of different hangouts almost daily. I’ll miss us so much, and I think I already do. All the best in the next chapter – if we survived IB, BS biases, and everything that was thrown in our way the last few years, we can do anything. Keep in touch, and we’ll meet again soon. :)
there’s the strong smell of coffee and
faint traces of you mingling
in every breath i take –
all-too-familiar and so sweetly homey –
i’m missing you but
i’m feeling whole and not holes
in my heart
everything is the right colour and
with a rosy glow and one deep breath out later
life is fine again.
it’s been nine years since I started writing-writing, creativity spilling onto blank pages, lines and rows and sheets of blue ink the proudest achievement of my life. the joys of holding well-worn, crumpled papers were but a childhood novelty, and faded along with the rest of my childhood. i didn’t write afterwards. it’s been four years since i rediscovered writing; this time, i started typing-writing, my feelings spilling into pixels on a screen. jagged lines of black text became my new aesthetic. i fell in love with how i could make something out of nothing. how broken sentences could read so beautifully fluid. how my broken heart mended with the more sentences i broke. i naively thought, i can write. it’s been six months since i realised i can’t write anymore. words were the stars in the sky when my world was dark and when i fell in love again the streaming sunshine broke both the night and my writing. and so my broken heart healed and as i said goodbye to the hurt and longing i also waved my words away. i now think in feelings and colours and the symbol-numbers of science but not in words. i can’t speak coherently and i bite back all the different forms of words i want to use to express the same idea and i struggle to form a simple sentence. i can’t write anymore, but i’m sure i will find the words again, the precious gems tucked away in the dark corners of this new sunlit world.
don’t paint me with a single stroke of a brush –
i may be insignificant in the divine plan of the universe,
but just one dot in a drawing?
i am more than that.
and don’t reduce me to the few
recycled adjectives that work in shifts, printed
neatly on my report cards,
because i am more than that;
more than the words i write and
my hobbies and
all the weird hand gestures i make.
i am the feeling you get when you’re around me and
the memories you make when you’re with me and
the thinkings and habits you’ve picked up from me.
i am an individual,
distinctly different from you and you and you and
unique and ordinary all at the same time.
so don’t just put me down in your mind as ‘that _____ girl’,
and don’t diminish me to a one-dimensional description,
because i am so much more than that.
brisk wind blows and
settles on my cheek,
it’s oddly dark around
and there’s time to kill
I tilt my head back
and stare at the sky.
a steamy breath of warm air
I start to count the stars:
one here, over there, three
in a row
and I don’t feel so alone
in the prickling pain peppered across your body
the tiny aches nagging the back of your mind
the utter exhaustion tugging the corners of your consciousness
a reminder; you’re still alive
a confirmation; you’re still fighting
above all, you find a reason:
another picturesque dusk
but the lights are softer today
twinkling and smiling above
a stretch of sea
shades of silhouetted mountains
yet to blend into the sky
bottled up feelings spill
and dissolve into the landscape
only peace remains
Continue reading twilight thoughts pt.2