to 12 (and 15 and 18) year old me:
please break down the notion of an ‘ideal’ relationship
and the idea that there necessary elements to a relationship.
unsubscribe from the notion that
anniversaries are celebrated with candles and champagne and
the perfect couple is always formed from best friends and
falling out of love is the only big problem you will face.
because real life is never that simple
and there is so much more to two peoples’ intertwined lives
than what the world sees them do
and what they let the world see them do.
please remember that everyone is different,
from their love language
(yours is affection)
to their chemistry with others;
that it’s never too late to start or end something;
that there will be ups and downs
that aren’t the end of the (your) world;
that what you have doesn’t have to be perfect,
just something you’re happy to wake up to.
and most of all,
please love what and who you have, had, and will have,
with all your heart,
and never regret anything.
synonymous with reunion,
and more recently,
to how full my heart becomes
brimming with white-hot glowing love
seeing everyone together
there are the little gaps
here, there, words
left unspoken and
open to our own interpretation.
we fill it in with whatever
pleases our minds in that moment,
and maybe with something else some other time.
the truth bends a little to however we want it.
(right now, i’d like to think it’s a sign
of us knowing each other all too well)
harsh, blunt, real and solid sentences juxtaposed,
i think i like it better
back again under
tangled telephone lines
sweet dusks and wide skies
but in the quiet moments between
loud laughter and
the last burst of daylight’s colours
just before nightfall –
I wish you were here
spring nights may be cold
but with lights in my eyes and your hand in mine
i’m anything but that
in the midst of it all
the loose leaf pages, flutter-by deadlines,
chatter of bilingual tongues,
and a sinking feeling so noiseless yet so persistent and
overwhelming loud –
i focus on you –
waves of clamour and chaos crash
to a slow, steady heartbeat, then:
a soft smile.
I once wished
on a bottle of cobalt stars
now filled to the brim with
my selfish desires
and oh! how my luck turned out
I still don’t believe it
even as I’m drinking in your gaze
tender and honey-sweet
even as I catch your smile
after my lips have left yours
I wonder if this’s all just black magic &
would I be burnt at the stake
for simply wanting you?