17, now. – same same but different // last goodbye

like the moon that constantly 
waxes and wanes 
still there through cloudy nights and 
sunny days and starry skies 
through 
dreading the end of an era and
heartbreak, nostalgia and homesickness 
through adventures across asia and undefined nothingness
I’ll always come back.
(even if I do accidentally lose myself //
stronger and fuller than ever) 
so 
I think I’m ready for bigger adventures 
I think I’m ready to grow up.
—————————
I turn 18 today! I’ve thought a lot about this day and what it might signify for me, and I’ve decided it to be a semi-fresh start. I’ve been holding on so hard to being 17 and by technical definition, still being a child, that I’ve been holding myself back from trying to do more adult things. 

17 was my best year, with so many hellos and goodbyes and fairy tale endings and happy new beginnings, so I’m ready to leave all the major changes of “new beginnings” behind and just take life as it is now. It’s really fitting that I’m back in Hong Kong for my 18th, where everything – from my life to school to finding out who I am – started, as if I’ve come full circle and completed my childhood journey. Growing up will never be as simple, straightforward and quick as saying so, but it’s not like I’m going to become an entirely different person. I’ll always come back to who I’ve been ever since I was a child, and with that, I’m fully ready for the last goodbye, after saying it again and again to all my friends as they left for uni: goodbye childhood, and hello new experiences in adulthood!

xx.

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❄︎ chloe ❄︎

write before you forget

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