I used to long for free fall –
to plummet, to drop, to sink
with the exhilaration of suspended alone in an airy void
slowly taking my breath away.
nothing left around,
nothing left behind,
all will become right
that was four months ago.
now when my ground threatens to shake
walls crumbling and floor crackling
I stand firm because
there’s something else I’d rather do –
It occurred to me today that I don’t think or joke about falling as much as I did before. In hindsight, maybe back then, it was a warning sign that I was deeply dissatisfied with how my life was, and that I wanted a way out. But regardless of what it may have been (a very vague sliver of a concept that I would never have acted on), it’s in the past now; doesn’t matter. Right now, I’ve got my stress and workload under control, so I’m all good. :-)